Monday, May 18, 2009

Choosing Your Bridesmaids

After you've announced your engagement to family & friends, and then to the masses on Facebook, the biggest question from your girlfriends might be "Who is in the wedding party?" They may not ask you directly, but believe me, they will be wondering if they get to stand by your side on the day of your wedding.

I hear from clients that picking their bridesmaids can be harder than deciding on their wedding gown. Brides-to-be don't want to hurt feelings and or step on toes. Often times, women have a collection of friends from different times in their lives - childhood, high school, college, post-college jobs, church, and then of course the family - sisters, cousins and future sister-in-laws.

My advice? Pick the women (or men!) that have stood by you throughout your relationship and that will continue to support your marriage. This could be your BFF, sorority sister, fiance's sister, colleague, and most likely, a combination of these special people. As far as a magic number? No clear answer, as each bride & groom will have different people they will want to play this role. There is a guideline I found here, but wedding "rules" are made to be broken!

And for the women who didn't fit into the wedding party? I touched on this last June, but please let them know as soon as possible. Kathleen Fifield for Martha Stewart Weddings writes, "After you've made your wedding party picks, be sure to schedule a few calls to close friends who didn't make the cut to let them know how much you look forward to sharing your big day. While these can be hard conversations to have, being prompt and gentle but up front will help signal your concern for their feelings. And you might be pleasantly surprised by some reactions..."

[photo copyright Lisa Kae Photography]

1 lovely comment(s):

Anonymous Mar 24, 2010, 4:56:00 AM  

My good friends who didn't make the cut were all extremely gracious when I talked to them... =) I think most people would be understanding, unless they're not told anything... so it's best to just be upfront instead of tiptoeing behind their backs! Loved this post!

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